The house you grew up in is still on your shopping list 🏡

Welcome to Inner Equity - my weekly newsletter about building financial confidence on the path to the life you want 🏡

Each week, we break down one meaningful money concept and leave you with an exercise that you can use to put it into practice.

This week, we're looking at how the home you grew up in may be shaping the one you're trying to buy 👇️

Some of the must-haves on your home search may come from childhood. 

Before you stretch your budget for them, it's worth asking what you expect them to give you now.

Think about the features you won't compromise on: a yard, a separate bedroom for everyone, space to host the whole family. 

What made each one feel necessary?

You might remember a home you loved and want something of that experience again. Or you might be looking for the privacy, quiet, or permanence you wished you had.

Those are understandable things to want. But a familiar picture of home can become a buying requirement before you've checked how it fits your life today.

A big yard means room to play, and it also means upkeep. 

A guest room gives people a place to stay, but how often would you use it that way?

The point is to ask, especially when keeping a feature means accepting a longer commute or a payment you're less comfortable with.

Peter Crone often explores how expectations formed early in life can shape what we ask of the present. 

What are you expecting this house to make possible that felt missing back then?

I think it's worth getting specific here. “I want a home where people feel welcome” leaves room to consider several layouts; “I need a formal dining room” narrows the search before you've looked at how you'd actually host.

And wanting something different from your childhood home can be just as influential as wanting to recreate it. Rejecting a place because it reminds you of where you grew up deserves the same attention as loving it for that reason.

None of this means your preferences are wrong (you don't need to talk yourself out of a yard you know you'll use). 

It means you can explain what they do for you (beyond “that's what a home should have”).

Before your next viewing, choose one must-have and describe how you'd use it during an ordinary week. 

Include the work it creates and what you'd give up elsewhere to have it.

Set aside 20–25 minutes with your home search list, or start one if you're only beginning to think about buying.

1. Choose three features you consider essential. Beside each, write where the preference came from: something you enjoyed growing up, something you missed, or a need you've discovered in your adult life.

2. Describe what each feature would let you do now. Be specific about who would use it and how often (include seasonal uses, too).

3. For each feature, name one trade-off you'd accept and one you wouldn't. Consider upkeep, location, commute, and the room left in your monthly budget.

4. Mark each feature “keep,” “flexible,” or “explore.” If you mark a feature “flexible” or “explore,” write down another way a home could meet the same need, and include that option in your next search.

Keep your notes beside the listings. They'll help you compare homes against the life you're living now, with a clearer sense of which compromises you're willing to make.